Rate yourself with the following quiz:-

Image of Highland Cow with a wonky horn
  1.  An ‘Arbikie’ is the traditional dwelling place of the wild Scottish Haggis.  Usually well concealed on a north facing mountainside, and always constructed after several months of negligible rainfall. It’s carefully positioned to allow the rear of the haggis to protrude slightly, clearly indicating that the beast is at home, while protecting the bill from the prevailing weather.

TRUE/FALSE

  • ‘Drookit’ as in ‘Drookit Piper Gin’ (Pixel Spirits, Ballachulish) is an old Scots word for tuneful or melodic.  As regular visitors to Scotland will know, even players new to the bagpipes are easily able to produce soothing melodies which will draw listeners in from near and far.  Drookit pipers are always happy souls, with a cheerful demeanour and a smile for everyone.

TRUE/FALSE

  • Lochaber, is the cry given (like ‘fore’ in golf) when a chaber (sometimes spelled caber), is tossed with insufficient effort to turn 180 degrees.  Pronounced ‘Low Caber’, it warns bystanders to stand clear before they are driven down like human pegs into the soft peaty soil of the Highlands by the errant and dangerous pole.

TRUE/FALSE

  • Whitetail Gin is named after the largest of Mull’s native squirrels.  Not thought to be completely albino, many display a striking white tail especially when winter temperatures drop below freezing for several days at once.  Scientists are working to disprove the theory that the tails are simply frost covered, and as they are enjoying the fine local gin so much, this research may take some years to complete.

TRUE/FALSE

Answers (ideally upside down)

One point for each correct answer:-

1.A         FALSE

Arbikie is the gorgeous gin carefully distilled by Kirstie Black at Arbikie Highland Estate in Angus using local botanicals to echo the coast and lands of its region.

If you thought it was a Haggis Hoose you’re a numpty fair and square.  Sorry, none intended.

2. A        FALSE

Drookit is an alternative term for ‘half-drownded’, or ‘very wet indeed’ if you went to posh school.  Everyone knows that Pipers sometimes have to stand out in all weathers, so occasionally becoming drookit is all part of the job.  That’s not to say it makes them happy smiley people though.  In fact, I’d be tempted to avoid a drookit piper until he’s dried out a bit, except for the Gin that is.  Drookit Piper Gin is great when it’s pouring! (See what I did there?)

3.A         FALSE

Lochaber is in fact a region of Scotland.  You may not have studied the maps recently, but you can’t have avoided the Proclaimers ‘Lochaber no more’ even if you missed Allan Ramsey’s 1724 version?  When a caber is incorrectly tossed there are usually several utterances forthcoming from the tosser, but none of them are repeatable here.  It is worth giving them a wide berth though, if only to avoid the horrid knifey things they wear on their boots for grippage.

Lochaber Gin is a fine spirit contained in a bottle displaying the Lady in the Hills.  Get your own when you come to Lochaber!

4.A         FALSE

Whitetail Gin is produced on the sub-tropical island of Mull.  Honestly, there are palm trees in abundance, and enough gorgeous sandy beaches to make the Caribbean jealous.  And it’s much easier to get to.  Calmac throw in a lovely cruise from Oban, or from Fishnish if you prefer place names that make you giggle.

So, as the weather would suggest, there’s little chance of seeing a frosty tailed squirrel on Mull, and instead the skilled makers of Whitetail chose the local Sea Eagles as their inspiration.  So, don’t search the trees, but turn your eyes to the skies in case one of these ‘flying barn doors’ comes your way.

SCORING

                Zero out of Four:             

Console yourself that we are here to help you and that you have found us. Now back to your room.

One out of Four:

Every journey starts with a single step.  Well, leap into your Louboutins lovely because you’ve got a long road ahead of you.  Still, they say that happiness is not the destination, it’s the journey, and yours will take you to some amazing Scottish Gins.  And never forget, you’re not stupid, you’re special.

Two out of Four:

You’re a trier and everyone loves those, but you have WORK TO DO. Spend much more time exploring Scotland and its amazing gin at every possible opportunity.  We prescribe at least six visits to Scotland per year until you show signs of improvement and to cure your desperate knowledge gaps.  If you can’t physically get here, do it through A I.  ie Pretend you’re clever whilst drinking Scottish Gin.

Three out of Four:

You are the Scottish Gin equivalent of an A Grade Student.  Well done!  However, if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it, so maintain those knowledge levels by regular trips to explore Scottish Gin and imbibe data (in liquid form if necessary).  Use your expertise to encourage others to join you.  You will be rewarded.  You are Ginspired.

Four out of Four:

Ginspired Ginius at work! What you don’t know would fit in a Copa Glass with plenty of room for ice and several garnishes.  You are Ginvincible!

It is now your destiny to spread your knowledge and passion for Scottish Gin throughout the gin drinking world.  Share your expertise and a little of your gin with your friends and family and they’ll be intoxicated by your sparkling brilliance. 

Congratulations. 

You and I can now be friends.